Take Me Home

Oh Mighty Creator

You gave me the gift of love yet kept me from it.

You allow suffering even in those that are so innocent.

You gave me lessons in life, then watched me fall.

You gave me siblings at birth then took them away, so I could suffer later in life knowing this?

You then took away the only one that nurtured me, when I needed it most.

You show me a world of destruction and chaos, and why?

So that I might make a difference?  I tried, and only few listened.

You gave me the gift of "sight", yet I don't wish to see what I see.

You gave me the gift of empathy, to be forgiving and understanding, yet it is just another form of pain.

What merciful God would allow his children such pain?

Regardless...    I've endured.

Everything has balance, even your trials.  Even you, I see.

Perhaps it is true that you are both God and Satan in one.

It makes sense, and you,  will have fooled most.

After all, the devil is the master of trickery, and you are quite the magnificent magician.

I've embraced pain and suffering and turned it into strength.

I've nurtured what you've given me only to watch it crumble the moment it leaves my hands.

I've pulled out of the mainstream to see and learn more, only to discover knowledge is a sin.

I've lived by your laws and broken them.

This game of life is tiring, and laws are for the selfish.

I've played the hand dealt, and this old soul broke even.

Hate was my discard, it didn't fit my hand.

Five cards, Five cards always Five.

Love, virtue, honor, wisdom, and death.

Corruption, sin, lies, betrayal, and life.

Either way you play your game, it's all the same result.

Everything will rise to a peak then deteriorate like rain upon a mountain.

When it's all washed away and nothing remains, is "nothing" all that is left?

No.   In the cycle of things, it is simply cleansed for a new birth.

Time for a new challenge...

I am impatient, and I have learned a few things, or maybe nothing at all.

All that remains now, is time, or am I so selfish and blind that I cannot see?

No more roads, no more paths, no more hopes, no more dreams.

I will die alone, in the process, maybe even suffer.

I accept this, one final payment...

There will be no one there to wipe my brow or brush my hair.

When it is all done, with any luck, my ash will be scattered in the wind.

Rather than left to rot in a box in a cemetery amongst people I never knew.

I will have contributed nothing in life, nor would I have staked a claim.

Born like a whisper, and death will be a whisper again.

No moment of silence need be... I was never here.

If I may keep three things...

It would be only three things, though I ask for them most humble.

Let it be a sword made of the finest metals so that I may fight the demons in hell.

Let it be the memories I've gained so that I may remember why I must continue to fight.

And let it be the love of my soul mate to keep me strong until I am to be called again for another lesson in life.

For that I would be grateful.

I would fight through the fires of hell to show you the most valorous warrior.

To show what you created, the product of your game.

To show you that I do indeed have faith, faith in one I can trust.

There is beauty in all I have seen, even in the imperfections of life.

I've paid for my sins in only ways that you, or I, would know.

It is not a sign of weakness that I submit, rather a challenge of more to come.

With that, I am ready and do not fear.

Angel of death shroud me with your dark wing...

I welcome you.

Take me home.

--DeathSwan

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